Messy Grace in a Dangerous Minefield

Today’s prolific culture of homosexuality and same-sex marriage can be a very difficult minefield to navigate for those who profess to follow Jesus. People take sides, proclaiming hate for each other and there are numerous misunderstandings and misinformation. We need a compassionate, experienced guide to help us walk through this minefield without any further losses. This guide is Caleb Kaltenbach.

In his new book, Messy Grace, Kaltenbach invites followers of Jesus to “live in the tension of grace and truth” (14), a tension he models for us very well in this book. As a pastor and a Bible scholar, Kaltenbach has studied and wrestled with the Scripture and what it teaches regarding homosexuality. However, he does not use the Bible “as a weapon to bludgeon those who disagree” (8) as some Christians are apt to do. As someone who grew up in an LGBT home, Kaltenbach tempers his adherence to the truth of Scripture with a deep sense of empathy and a heartfelt need to extend grace to all.

He reminds us not to have an “us vs. them” mentality. We are ALL sinners and we are ALL in need of grace –something that many of us tend to forget. As recipients of grace, we are called to extend this same grace to others. This can be messy, hence the title of the book. Kaltenbach reminds us that “if Jesus calls us to be fishers of people and to get involved in the lives of others, we’re going to get messy. Why? Because the grace of God is bigger than any of us is willing to admit. People are messy. Sacrifice is messy. Talking about important issues is messy. Helping others is messy. Love is messy. And that’s all right. We can pursue people for Christ anyway” (35).

Messy Grace is not an abstract book of the theology of grace or of homosexuality. It is a very practical book filled with heartbreaking stories of how we have failed to reach those in the LGBT community and advice on how we can best relate to those who identify themselves as LGBT or to those who “come out” to us.

Today’s culture can be a dangerous minefield, but in Messy Grace, Caleb Kaltenbach shines the light of grace on this messy field. I would encourage all who seek to follow Jesus and to reach our culture to read this book when it comes out in October. You can pre-order Messy Grace here. 

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.

It Won't Be Easy

Why are we as Christians more known for what we are against rather what we are for? It may sound the same on the surface, because if you stand for something, then by definition, you are against something else, but I think there is a big difference.

We are known in our culture for what we are against, and by extension, what we say that God is against: we are the ones who are against drinking…or dancing…or abortion…or same-sex marriage…or gays…or whatever. You may have seen signs at various protests, on the news, or in a quick Google search: “God hates fags,” “God hates America,” or “You’re going to hell.” The perception in our culture is that Christians hate those whose morals differ from ours and that we are against them.

We say that we follow Jesus, but are we following Him when we exhibit hateful attitudes towards people? Does God ever say that He hates people? He hates the worship of false gods (Deut 16:21-22; 12:31). He hates a variety of behaviors: “haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a person who stirs up conflict in the community” (Prov 6:18-19). I do not see any passage that says God hates gays, or divorced people, or drunks, or anyone struggling with any number of sins and/or demons.

God loves all people and wants all of us “to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth” (1 Tim 2:4). He does want us to rid ourselves of a variety of evil behaviors (1 Pet 2:1; Col 3:8). These behaviors include “bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” (Eph 4:32). Some of these attitudes that we are to be rid of are some of the very things we are guilty of when we are exhibiting hateful attitudes towards others. In that same passage, we are also called to “be kind and compassionate” (Eph 4:32).

Do we have compassion for people like Jesus? He was often filled with compassion when He saw people with broken lives (Mark 6:34). Did He ever reach anyone by exhibiting a hateful attitude, by ostracizing them or berating them? Does He do reach us this way? Does He kick us aside when our behavior does not meet His expectations? Scripture says that “God’s kindness is intended to lead [us] to repentance” (Rom 2:4). We are happy to accept this kindness, but do we extend this kindness and grace to others? Is the phrase “hate the sin but love the sinner” something we live out or just something say?

Maybe the difference in how God treats sinners and how we treat them (and don’t forget that we are them!), is that God wants people who are caught in sin to come to Him, to repent, to become part of His family. Our concerns seem to gravitate more toward punishment and hoping “these people” get what they deserve. The fact is that we all deserve punishment and are in desperate need of grace. It seems that we just don’t seem to want certain people to experience grace. We can be for sinners, but against sin because of what it does to all of us.

I hope that someday Christians will be known for what we are for rather than what we are against, and that we will be seen as people who show love and compassion, who extend God’s kindness and patience to others rather than hatred and vengeance. Of course, this is not an easy path, but then Jesus never said following Him would be easy.

Who Do We Really Follow?

Many of us call ourselves Christians, Christ-Followers, disciples and/or followers of Jesus, but what does that really mean and what does it look like? Does it just mean we “go to church” every Sunday, try to watch our language around others, and oppose things like abortion and gay marriage? Being a Christ-Follower should mean that we strive to emulate Jesus' character and adhere to His teachings and practices, but how well do we really do this? If we read through the gospels, can we say that our behavior and our attitudes truly reflect Jesus, or do we more accurately reflect those who openly opposed him?

A recent Newsweek article cited a 2012 Barna study stating that many “evangelicals accepted the attitudes and beliefs of the Pharisees –religious leaders depicted throughout the New Testament as opposing Christ and his message – more than they accepted the teachings of Jesus.” The writer of the article says the Bible “has been abused by people who claim to revere it but don’t read it, in the process creating misery for others.” In his book, The Jesus I Never Knew, Philip Yancy asks, “How did Jesus, the only perfect person in history, manage to attract the notoriously imperfect? And what keeps us from following in his steps today?” (pg. 148). I think it’s worth a look to determine whom it is that we look more like and whom we are actually following.

Jesus Himself said the Pharisees were extremely righteous (Matt 5:20), but He also warned His followers not to imitate them and their practices (Matt 23:3). The  Pharisees:

•      …did not practice what they taught (Matt 23:3).

•      …were very focused on external works, and criticized others who did not do things the same way they did  (Matt 9:14; Acts 15:5).

•      …held tightly to their traditions, even elevating them above the commands of God (Matt 15:1-3).

•      …were highly offended rather than repentant when Jesus told them the contents of their hearts made them unclean (Matt 15:12; 21:45).

•      …were critical of true followers of Jesus, and they fought and argued with other factions and sects (Matt 12:2; Acts 23:7).

•      …asked Jesus questions, not for information or to better themselves, but to test Him and try to trip Him up (Matt 22:41-45).

•      …did not acknowledge that God’s way was right, and they rejected God’s purpose for themselves (Luke 7:29-30).

•      …were considered by Jesus to be a dangerous influence to be avoided (Matt 16:6, 11-12).

•      …criticized Jesus for reaching out to and associating with “tax collectors and sinners” (Luke 5:30).

•      …pray only to be seen and heard by others (Matt 6:5).

This is a very frightening list. How often to we exhibit these attitudes and actions rather than those of Jesus? It is so much easier to follow the Pharisees than it is to “deny [ourselves] and take up [our] cross daily and follow [Jesus]” (Luke 9:23 NIV). To follow Jesus, we should ask ourselves: Do we have compassion on people? Are we willing to associate with the undesirables of society and known sinners? Are we willing to love others and elevate the opportunity to serve and to do good above our rules and traditions? Are we willing forgive rather than condemn and point others to Jesus and help them to follow Him?

May we all do a better job of following Jesus’ attitudes of love, compassion, and forgiveness rather than the Pharisees’ attitudes of condescension, condemnation, and criticism.