Dearly Beloved?

If you grew up attending Sunday School, or even the occasional summer Vacation Bible School program, you learned “Jesus loves me, this I know for the Bible tells me so” (wr. by Anna B. Warner). The Bible tells us that Jesus loves us, but do we act like we truly believe this? Do we follow the apostle John’s instructions to “Consider the kind of extravagant love the Father has lavished on us—He calls us children of God! It’s true; we are His beloved children” (1 John 3:1 VOI). 

Do we rest in this love He lavishes on us, or do we continue struggling to try and earn His love? What may be even more difficult for us, is do we truly believe that He loves others in the world who are not yet followers of Jesus? The apostle John also wrote, in probably the most often quoted verse in the Bible, “God so loved the world.” This says He loved ---not just the chosen few, or those that love Him back --- but everyone in the world. Is this true? Does God really love all of us?

Henri Nouwen had a Jewish friend who asked him to write a book addressing spirituality to those who were not believers in Jesus. Nouwen considered this request, and wrote Life of the Beloved, in which he sought ”to respond to the great spiritual hunger and thirst that exist in countless people who walk the streets of big cities...to speak a word of hope to people who no longer came to churches or synagogues and for whom priests and rabbis were no longer the obvious counselors” (21). These people that Nouwen describes are the very people we need to reach with the gospel, but how can we reach those who are already turned off to all things related to Jesus and his church? How can we respond to them in a positive manner in their current spiritual state ?

Nouwen chose to do this by encouraging his readers to embrace the name “Beloved,” because they are indeed loved by God. Nouwen wrote, “We are the Beloved. We are intimately loved long before our parents, teachers, spouses, children, and friends loved or wounded us. That’s the truth of our lives. That’s the truth I want you to claim for yourself. That’s the truth spoken by the voice that says, ‘You are my Beloved’” (36).

When I first read this, it struck me as a bit odd. Are the enemies of God and those who are indifferent to Him really “beloved” by Him? As I was considering this question, I recalled the story that Jesus told in Luke 15 about the Prodigal Son, a story that is likely very familiar to you.

In this story, while the younger son was still living in the pigpen, in a foreign land, far away from the Father, did the Father still love him? Of course he did! The son was off doing his own thing, living in disobedience, but the Father still loved his disobedient son. He still stood watch every day, watching and waiting for the boy to repent and come home.

The Father didn’t suddenly start loving his son once the boy could be seen walking on the road toward home, or once he was cleaned up and clothed in a new robe. The boy was his son, and he loved him from the moment of his birth. The Father never stopped loving the boy, even when the boy demanded his inheritance early and wished the Father dead. Even when the boy was living for himself in a distant land. Even when he was covered in mud, and muck, and pig slop, and whatever other disgusting substance was in that pigpen.

If the Father had an opportunity to speak to the boy while he was still in the pigpen, he might have said, “I will save you. I have traded in nations to win you back, Egypt, Cush, and Seba, in exchange for your freedom. Because you are special to Me and I love you, I gladly give up other peoples in exchange for you...So don’t be afraid. I am here” (Isa. 43:3-5a VOI).

It is unfathomable just how much God loves us … how much He has always loved us. Even when we were far away from Him. The apostle Paul tells us, “think about this: while we were wasting our lives in sin, God revealed His powerful love to us in a tangible display—the Anointed One died for us“” (Rom. 5:8 NIV)

How different would our witness to the world be if we truly believed we were speaking to the Father's dearly beloved sons and daughters who were far from Him, unable to find their way home? What if we made it our mission to show them how much God loves them, just as they are, even if it is in a muddy pigsty, rather than pointing out how relatively clean we are and how much God hates them? Who would have the strength or willingness to drag themselves up out of a pigpen or a faraway land to go home to a Father who hates them? They need to know now, while they’re still far off, how much the Father loves them and the warm, loving welcome they can expect to receive when they return home to Him.

So This is Love

There are a number of reasons that I have not posted a blog entry in over a month. I have actually begun (but subsequently abandoned) quite a few possible posts. But I think this is where I'm going for today ....

I have always liked animated Disney movies, and Cinderella is one that I have especially enjoyed for some reason. Maybe it is partially because I had Disney's Cinderella on one of those late 1960s era 45 RPM records that came with the little book. You may recall the ones that would say "Ding -- turn the page." I remember mine had a scratch on it near the end of the story: "That was all the Duke needed --- That was all the Duke needed --- That was..."

Since falling and breaking my foot last Sunday, I have spent a great deal of time sitting and watching a variety of movies. Yesterday, I watched Cinderella again with my youngest daughter.

During the scene when Cinderella and the Prince were dancing at the ball, I paid attention to the song's lyrics more than usual. In all fairness, the song was probably not written for deep contemplation; just for a fleeting scene in a movie. Even so, it made me wonder what we have been teaching children for decades. If you've watched Cinderella much, then you may remember the waltz written by Mack David, Jerry Livingston, and Al Hoffman, entitled "So This is Love."

There really aren't many lyrics.

So this is love, mmmm; so this is love

So this is what makes life divine

I’m all aglow, mmmm; and now I know

The key to all heaven is mine

My heart has wings, mmmm; and I can fly

I’ll touch every star in the sky

So this is the miracle that I’ve been dreaming of

Mmmm, mmmm; so this is love

So this is love. Really? So what exactly is love? Is love being dressed up beyond recognition and dancing for a few hours with a man who doesn't even know your name or anything about you? Is love going to a party and being the center attention when you're accustomed to being used, abused, and unappreciated at home? Is love escaping everyday life with a handsome stranger?

This is infatuation, perhaps, but this is not love. THIS is love:

• Working all day at your job and going home to work more by cooking, doing dishes and laundry, and taking care of kids because your spouse is sick or injured and unable to do so.
• Serving your spouse by cleaning up puke, changing bloody bandages, or helping them in and out of the tub because they are unable to do these kinds of things for themselves.
• Forgoing your own personal goals or dreams to support those of your spouse. 
• Sticking with each other through the worse part of "for better or for worse," the poorer portion of "for richer or for poorer," and the sickness component of "in sickness and in health."
• Caring for a loved one who is terminally ill, even when it is difficult.

Obviously, these scenarios don't hold quite the dreamy, ethereal, romantic ideal of the waltz scene in Cinderella. She and the prince just gaze into each other's eyes for a few hours, get married, and then live happily ever after ---whatever that is. They have not battled anything together. They have not weathered any storms. 

I don't want to lay all of the blame for the sad state of marriage in our country at Walt Disney's feet, but surely the "So This is Love"/"happily ever after" lies we have been buying for decades haven't helped. 

Of course, we should know better than to expect Disney to accurately teach our children what love is or to expect a children's entertainment company to be able to say with certainty "This is Love." We have already been told what love is by one who knows:

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another" (1 John 4:10-11 NIV). 

Or don't forget:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1 Cor 13:4-8a NIV). 

What examples do you have that define "So This is Love"? 

Please consider getting the e-book, Follow Jesus, Share the Journey on Kindle. And don't forget to leave a review after you have read it. Thank you!

Have the Mind of Christ in Your Marriage

A quick Amazon search of "marriage books" reveals over 260,000 results. A search of "Christian marriage books" reveals almost 28,000 options. Within these thousands of book options, many of them tell us how to change our actions. They offer helpful to-do lists of tasks to do for your spouse. One of these nearly 28,000 Christian marriage books, 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage, by Sheila Wray Gregoire, comes at it from a little different angle. While Gregoire does offer a number of practical application tasks and ideas, what sets her book apart is her focus on our mind ---how we think about our spouse, more than merely what we do for our spouse --which will in turn affect our actions.

Some of her advice on our thoughts include remembering that our spouse is our neighbor, and Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves, which should greatly affect how we treat them. She advises her readers to focus their thoughts and attention on their marriages so it doesn't drift out with the tide due to neglect or taking it for granted. She reminds us that we cannot expect our spouse to fulfill a role for us that only God can fill, and a reminder that we cannot change our spouse and mold them into what we want or expect. We must remember that the partners in a marriage are on the same team ---not in competition with each other. We also need to allow our spouse to be our spouse, and only allow God to be God.

I especially found her approach to submission very compelling (Chapter 5). She acknowledges that the usual definition of submission is that in the case of a disagreement, the husband wins --the wife is to blindly obey and defer to her husband's position, regardless of the outcome. I love that Gregoire quotes The Princess Bride, saying of the word submission, "I don't think it means what you think it means."

To illustrate her understanding, she walks through two Scriptural narratives: the story of Nabal and Abigail, in which she (correctly) did not blindly obey her husband (1 Samuel 25) and the story of Ananias and Sapphira, in which she (incorrectly) did blindly obey her husband, much to her own detriment (Acts 5:1-11). Gregoire advises to focus on unity of the marriage and asking the question 'What does God want me to do in this situation', not blind, dutiful "submission."

My capsule version of Gregoire's advice in this book is to "have the mind of Christ" (1 Cor 2:16 NIV), especially in regards to our spouse.

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.

Illumination or Intimidation?

Light can be so helpful. Who hasn’t tried to walk through a dark room, maybe to go to the bathroom or to check on a kid in the middle of the night, and inadvertently kicked the dresser or stepped on a Lego block? Now you're in pain, something that never would have happened if the light had been on.

What about trying to drive at night, especially out in the country where it is really dark. You’re unsure of where the road curves, or where you’re supposed to turn, and addresses are nearly impossible to see. A little illumination from street lights or house lights would be so helpful.

Light can also be very harsh and blinding. What if you were walking or driving in the dark and someone suddenly flipped on a huge floodlight in your face? That would not help you see your way; instead, it would temporarily blind you.

Think about crime interrogation scenes in movies. The alleged perpetrator sits in a dark room with a bare, harsh light overhead, and accusing voices come from the darkness asking where they were on the night of the crime, for the purpose of intimidating the one being interrogated.

Jesus says that we are “the light of the world” (Matt 5:14), but what kind of light are we? We are to be a reflection of Jesus, “the true light that gives light to everyone” (John 1:9). But do we tend to illuminate or intimidate?

I have been going through the gospel of John in my personal quiet time, one chapter per day. Yesterday, I read through chapter 3, which contains one of the most (or perhaps the most) familiar verses in the Bible. Even many non-Christians are aware of John 3:16. You know it. It’s one of those passages I memorized as a child, and like Psalm 23, it usually comes to mind in the KJV. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

I don’t think many of us are very familiar with the verses that follow this well-known passage. Verses 19-21 really struck me as a description of our culture and our jobs as “the light of the world.”

“Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God” (John 3:19-21 NIV).

People love the darkness because it covers them and allows them to do what they want to do and act however they choose. Jesus is the true light and the truth, and we are called to reflect that light and shine it into this dark world. 

We must be careful not to dim that light so that we blend in with the dark world, not illuminating the darkness at all. But we must also be careful not to shine a blinding floodlight into people’s faces, intimidating them and driving them away. We need to be a gentle light that gradually grows brighter, allowing others to see and benefit from the light and love of Jesus, and allowing the Holy Spirit to be the One who convicts. 

May we spread illumination, not intimidation, in this dark world.

Messy Grace in a Dangerous Minefield

Today’s prolific culture of homosexuality and same-sex marriage can be a very difficult minefield to navigate for those who profess to follow Jesus. People take sides, proclaiming hate for each other and there are numerous misunderstandings and misinformation. We need a compassionate, experienced guide to help us walk through this minefield without any further losses. This guide is Caleb Kaltenbach.

In his new book, Messy Grace, Kaltenbach invites followers of Jesus to “live in the tension of grace and truth” (14), a tension he models for us very well in this book. As a pastor and a Bible scholar, Kaltenbach has studied and wrestled with the Scripture and what it teaches regarding homosexuality. However, he does not use the Bible “as a weapon to bludgeon those who disagree” (8) as some Christians are apt to do. As someone who grew up in an LGBT home, Kaltenbach tempers his adherence to the truth of Scripture with a deep sense of empathy and a heartfelt need to extend grace to all.

He reminds us not to have an “us vs. them” mentality. We are ALL sinners and we are ALL in need of grace –something that many of us tend to forget. As recipients of grace, we are called to extend this same grace to others. This can be messy, hence the title of the book. Kaltenbach reminds us that “if Jesus calls us to be fishers of people and to get involved in the lives of others, we’re going to get messy. Why? Because the grace of God is bigger than any of us is willing to admit. People are messy. Sacrifice is messy. Talking about important issues is messy. Helping others is messy. Love is messy. And that’s all right. We can pursue people for Christ anyway” (35).

Messy Grace is not an abstract book of the theology of grace or of homosexuality. It is a very practical book filled with heartbreaking stories of how we have failed to reach those in the LGBT community and advice on how we can best relate to those who identify themselves as LGBT or to those who “come out” to us.

Today’s culture can be a dangerous minefield, but in Messy Grace, Caleb Kaltenbach shines the light of grace on this messy field. I would encourage all who seek to follow Jesus and to reach our culture to read this book when it comes out in October. You can pre-order Messy Grace here. 

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.